Some people have this undeniably irritating quality. It's not any one thing...nothing that I can put my finger on. But there are times...rare times, when I come across someone and instantly start disliking him/her. I come across these 'disliked' people so infrequently, that by the time I meet one I have totally forgotten why I disliked the previous one! So I dunno if I dislike /get put off by the same things or whether it's a whole spectrum of traits!

Not too long ago, I met one such guy. Highly irritating to say the least! Instantly got on my nerves. In my defense, it's not like he wasn't trying. But that came later. The minute I saw him I went...uh oh...not my type. Don't get me wrong now. For all practical purposes, I don't even have a type. I am quite a nice n tolerant person (even if I do say so myself ;) ). And it's not often that I get so majorly put off by a person. But after the not-so-happy start things just went downhill. And anything he said felt like long fingernails being scratched across the blackboard. Seriously! And his voice quality had nothing to with it :P Whatever he said...or did...or didn't do....it just irked me so!

I tried being 'person centred' about it. Unconditional positive regard and all that. Didn't work. I tried ignoring him. Didn't work. I tried being mean to him. Ok, not tried, I was mean ;) Felt good for a bit...but didn't do much either!

I guess the best way would be to steer clear. For my wellbeing. And his :D

Soulmates

Soul mate - someone who knows you inside out. Someone who understands; someone who cares. Someone who is like no other.

Until not too long ago, I didn't quite believe in the idea of 'soulmates'. It's not like I didn't think people could have soulmates...it's just that I never thought I would ever have one. I never expected to come across anyone who would be so....perfect.

I love the idea of soul mates now. Of finding that one person who mates your soul.

Who are these people then? They don't come with a halo over their heads or flashbulbs across their chest... These are normal everyday people who have the knack to really open up to you...the ability to make you open up unconditionally. And it is a two-way thing...like, to the world both of you may appear to be a block of marble. some people might urge you to carve into a horse...others might say you would make an exquisite rabbit. But it is only the two of you who know what the other's marble really holds. So, your soulmate knows your true potential. And trusts you to realize it even if others can't really see it yet. They are gonna be there till all the extra bits fall off. They are gonna be there to add what needs to be added. And you do the same for them. Knowingly and unknowingly...

I'm amazed at the positivity flowing in from Delhi about the CWG opening ceremony! Suddenly, everyone is having a "I proud to be Indian" moment. A lot of the people raving about the 'success' were till a few days ago cribbing and cussing and complaining. A little song-dance-n-fanfare and all the glitches are forgotten n forgiven. Very interesting!

I saw the ceremony too. And it was nothing short of spectacular. I was specially enamored by the mehendi-hands bit. Sooooooo cool! :) But till I saw all these Fb status msgs, it was just that - a spectacular show. Now I'm wondering why I was so objective/detached about it! I'm usually the one to see the silver lining before the dark cloud... Dunno! Maybe just a result of too-much-on-my-mind!

Love. The many splendoured, multi-faceted, much talked about, mostly over-hyped...and even undermined emotion...which manages to cover such a wide variety of human experiences. Something that evokes as much cynicism as gooey romance. Something that is a one word explanation for all things good and bad.

What do I say about love?...so much has been said already! If I did decide to write about it though, it would be something like a Wikipedia post on 'Che Guevara' or the 'French Revolution' or something like that which has numerous sub-points and sub-subpoints and sub-subsubpoints!! You get the point? ;)

Coz there's romantic love, platonic love, unconditional love, friend-ly love, louve, pseudo love, rebellious love, love for animals, love for the country/planet/universe...there's just so many loves!!! Love can be 'pyaar'...or 'mohabbat'...or 'ishq'...each one with its zillion unique connotations! So, no point trying to describe it...But, how about stuff I've read/heard about love. Stuff that defines how I see the...'concept'? Here goes...

The first thing that comes to my mind are Karla's lines from Shantaram: "She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some people are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out—your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love."

These lines have kinda stayed on in my mind...despite my preoccupation with fairytale-ish happy endings! Don't you see this all around you? People working so hard to keep alive what is evidently a lost cause... It's sad, but it's one of the many things which you come across and think 'it would never happen to me/us'. I'm not sick of love, but I totally understand what Karla's talking about!

"Kehte hain ishq jise Ghalib/ khalal hai dimaag ka"

I am unaware of the source of this piece of wisdom. I love the all-in-the-mind connotation though! :)

"Love is patient, love is kind. Love is slowly losing your mind!"

:D 27 Dresses...no prizes for guessing! Chick-flicks are fulllllll of gyaan!

This one gives me respite on all those blue days :)

"Haar nahi, jeet nahi, jahan pyaar hai/ Jisme haar jeet hai woh kahan pyaar hai"

Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai

As cheezy as it gets. From a Yashraj movie, no less! hehe...I have no idea whose lyrics these are. But they feel so right! What's the point of contested love anyway?

"Sach mere yaar hai/ Bas wohi pyaar hai/ Jiske badle mein koi toh pyaar de/ Baaki bekaar hai...yaar mere"

Sagar

This song made me feel so understood during my teens you know! hehe...Unrequited love has it's own charm! I am kind of a self-confessed champion of the same ;) And though it isn't much fun on most days, it's entertaining to look back on past 'crushes' and fantasize about what could have been :)

"Mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai, har mod aasan nahi hota, har mod par khushiyan nahi hoti; toh jab hum zindagi ka saath nahi chodte to mohabbat ka saath kyun chod de?"

Mohabbatein

This is the awesomest of the lot. Awesome = cheezy here ;) If, for just a moment, you lay aside your prejudices against Shahrukh Khan and his kinda movies, you'll realize, that these are very profound lines... Don't laugh!!! :P

"...love burns brighter than sunshine...Love will remain a mystery/ but give me your hand and you'll see/ Your heart is keeping time with me..."

Aqualung (from the Soundtrack for 'A Lot Like Love')

My favourite song from my all-time favourite movie! Need I say any more? :)

To label or not to label...?

All of us use labels. We label things. We label places. We label memories and experiences. But most often, we label people. Not everyone supports the notion though. Some go as far as claiming it to be a discriminatory practice. Is it?

I have been thinking about it. In a way, labels make life more convenient. For instance, if I label someone I know as 'outspoken but good at heart', I would know better than to take offence at every little thing they say. If I label a person as 'selflessly helpful', I know who to go to when I need a favour. Quite convenient, no? No. Because we end up labelling not only people we know, but also ones we barely have any clue about. This is when the harmless categorizing turns to vicious stereotyping. Come to think of it, this is the kinda labelling all those people are harping against!

Hmm...fine. So do we not label people at all? I don't think that's going to work! It's quite a necessary-evil kinda situation!

Then there's this whole issue about names of labels. So people with low IQ can't be termed as mentally challenged. People with schizophrenia can't be called schizophrenics. Fat people can't be called fat. Poor people can't be called poor. So we have terms like 'healthy' and 'economically disadvantaged' and god-knows-what-not to refer to these things. Aren't we just complicating simple stuff? I am all for equal rights and all that...and I'm not saying this just 'coz I'm worried about what Saloli might say! ;) ...but I'm the kind who believes in the 'a rose called by any other name would smell just as sweet' philosophy! We need to start respecting people. True. Irrespective of their health or monetary status. Irrespective of their colour, shape, social standing, gender and all possible categories along which we discriminate! BUT, calling them something else is not helping in anyone! People who referred to special children as "paagal" may not use the latter term any more (at least publicly), but there's hardly any change in perception! The paranoia continues. The misgivings are still in place.

Is it enough to blame the label for it then? What needs to change is not the name but it's connotation. Easier said than done, of course. But there are people working on it. Quite diligently. The least we can do is try to de-clutter our mind of the complex labels and look for the person behind it. It is just a tiny amount of extra effort. Wouldn't hurt to try :)

The top reason for why you should watch Inception is that everyone is talking about it and its mighty irritating to be left out of a good conversation ;) I wouldn't say it's wrongly hyped. But honestly, it's too much of an effort for a movie! As in, you have to pay 100% attention to it alllllllllll through. That's pretty taxing if you ask me!

Super cool concept. A li'l too 'technical' for my liking. But I like the idea of getting into someone's subconscious....or sharing a dream. Designing and manipulating gets a bit too much though! And it beats me why there's so much wreckage...what's with these hollywood film makers huh? I think they should stick to rom-com/chick-flicks :) I love those best :)

People around me - my age and younger (!) - have been getting married at an almost alarming rate. It's like jo dekho shaadi kar raha hai! (thankfully talks about mine have been put off for at least another year).

Since so many of them are tying the knot, it's definitely more a norm than a deviation from it! Though I can't help wondering why. Is it because we have been conditioned to believe that it's something inevitable? 'Coz it's seen as a part of 'socially acceptable' living? ...'coz that's what people do?

I have nothing against marriage. In fact I fantasize quite a happy one for myself. But in my fairy-tale infested mind I'd like to believe that people should marry when they find someone they think they can spend the rest of their life with (...or at least a considerable part of it!). And it shouldn't be a conscious search. Like, if it happens, great. If it doesn't, no big deal. Your life shouldn't rest on it.

So yea, marry if you want to. (Personally the idea all but freaks me out!). But don't be deluded by outrageous arguments such as 'if not now, then never'. Who says so?! Who is limiting us? And why are we letting them? Why can't I find love at 30? Or 45? What renders me un-marriageable after 26?? Don't let the numbers get in the way! Even biological clocks can be managed ;)