It's funny how some seemingly insignificant things make such a difference! I just arranged my class notes and handouts in order today...and even though that's hardly an achievement, it's put me in a great mood :) Well, considering the fact that the last time I did it was sometime in the beginning of December does make it a sorta achievement ;)

Sometimes, all you need to do is to file things in a pretty ring binder. Sort your thoughts n put them away in a neat stack. Doesn't solve the problem. But makes things less overwhelming. Sometimes, that's all you can do. Maybe it is an attractive form of avoidance. I don't know. But it seems to have worked for me, for now. And the great believer in first steps that I am, this one's another way to an awesome start (even though in my case it's mostly well begun AND half done!).

Now that my thoughts are arranged (not sorted)...I know that I can come back to them when I am in the right frame of mind (or when I just have to deal with them...lol). It gives me a better perspective. What seemed messy just a while ago is now much more manageable!

to whomsoever it may concern

Free advice.
Points to remember about your dissertation (coming from someone in the middle of one, this is as genuine as it gets!):
If there are 'x' number of things that can go wrong, be assured, all of them will. There are no two ways about it. And you will realize how many ways things can go wrong in! A simple thing like data collection is no less than the maze at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. With dragons and spells vying for your attention at every turn. Well, almost!
All those people who tell you that 'well begun is better done' are absolutely right. At least in the context of dissertations. I prefered to emulate those who started late and still managed to get their work done in time. Not the smartest choice.
And then, the computer aspect. This morning, I had an almost heart attack 'coz my usually no-nonsense, docile comp suddenly went off! The screen went blank and the green light kept flickering. Nothing would revive it. Not random key-pressing, not turning it upside down, not even telling it how much I loved it! And the weirdest part is, when I tried opening the CD drive, it opened! Spooky!
After around 10 traumatic minutes, it suddenly came back to life. Miracles do happen! (why just yesterday a plane landed on water!). And the message on the screen said "windows has just recovered from an unlikely shutdown". Gawd, and I recovered from an almost-stopped-heart!
So, make sure that all your data has backup. Specially people who no longer write stuff and type every little thing. Mail it as attachments to various accounts. Various ppl if possible. Burn Cds, do whatcver. But there's no way out if you have just one place of storage and that gets damaged. I can't believe I'm saying that. It's such a tech-savvy sounding thing na? haha That's what dissertations do to you. They turn morons into experts. Non-believers into fanatics. Perfectly sane people into lunatics!
And final point to remember, which I am saying due to sheer optimism and not personal experience (yet), the whole thing is totally worth it. I am hoping that at the end of this dissertation I can look back and feel proud of the effort I put in :)

Current mood: happy
I started the data collection for my dissertation today (though calling it data collection sounds a li’l disrespectful towards the “sample”...another derogatory term!!)
So anyway...I’m sooooooo glad that I took up the topic I have taken up : ) I know nothing else could’ve given me this kinda satisfaction. Or maybe it could have...but I’m so happy that I have chosen a topic I feel for. I mean, when I started out...it was kinda half-hearted. I was not sure whether this was the best I could do. And till yesterday, I wasn’t sure if I had tried hard enough while selecting the research topic. Not anymore. My topic isn’t “happy” like I always wanted...I started out looking for something that would be fun to research. But you know...I’m not too sure yet...but I think trauma is my thing. Not that I get a kick outta hearing people’s traumatic stories...but it makes me feel good that I am there for people...for people who badly need to vent. I don’t have any illusions that I’m a saviour or messiah or an angel of good will ;) I know I am doing this for myself...and that’s what makes me happier.
And like I’d said before...reaching out to someone, forming a bond...that’s what I like best about my work. And now my research! : ) I know it’s not gonna be a bed-of-roses wala scenario...but I’m ready for the uncertainities...n I’m sure I am going to be a better person at the end of this project. Amen : )