I can't pack!

If ever there was a packing-and-moving aptitude test, I would fail miserably! I most definitely would! After spending an entire morning, and most afternoon packing, my room looks messier than ever...and believe me, that's not an easy standard to surpass!

In my head, everything was sorted. Four suitcases of different sizes...and a tiny room full of stuff accumulated over a year. How tough could it be, I'd thought. And since this morning, the universe, or whoever pulls these cheap tricks, seems so be chuckling in glee: 'this is how tough it can be'!

From where I stand now, it looks like I'll need a miracle if I want to move day after tomorrow. Miracles work right???

i have neither the inclination, nor the skill for a political commentary. this is more of a personal rant.

i just came across some *highly* irritating stuff. infuriating even! despite all my reservations about anna hazare's mode of agitation, i feel sorry for the man after hearing what the imam of jama masjid had to say about it! he's "upset" coz muslims haven't been included in the movement! HUH? Wtf! Ye koi Hazare ke ghar ka function hai ki kisi ko invitation nahi mila toh bura maan gaye???! Utter nonsense. It's people like him that feed stereotypes about muslims. none of the muslim people i know are hung up on being a minority.

makes me wonder to what level the so called religious heads would stoop to maintain their position of power!!

Nothing beats a good protest

They are all talking about Anna Hazare and the Lok Pal bill...they are discussing fighting corruption like never before. It's all over twitter and facebook. For once, I'm glad to be spared the TV and newspaper coverage. But the drama is hard to miss. Almost everyone seems to be supporting Hazare.

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone should. Sign of a thinking society and all that. But (of course there's a but!), are we thinking? Or are we just jumping on the bandwagon? Is supporting the JanLokPal the new "in" thing? I was feeling kinda left out so read it up last night! This isn't about my opinion on it though. This is about me wondering what this is all about. Remember how, when the attack in Bombay happened, everyone was all gung-ho about making a difference...about preventing another such carnage. That more or less fizzled out, didn't it? Pardon me for being a sceptic, but I refuse to get carried away this time.

How about focusing on ourselves for a change? Yes, the political class is corrupt. But so are you. That does not justify their misuse of power. But neither does supporting Hazare absolve you of your responsibility. All I am saying is, if you think this is a cause worth supporting, stand for it by all means. But don't just follow someone blindly. What if he decides to call off the protest tomorrow? Will you call off yours too?

P.S. Just for the record, I'm quite uneasy about blackmail through fasting.

On blocks

OR

What comes to your mind first when you think 'block'? Do you think of roadblocks or building blocks? Do you think of being blocked by something, or feeling blocked because of nothing?

Amusement parks, really?

You must have heard of people's things-to-do-before-turning-30 lists. I don't really have one. In fact, I have a things-I-never-want-to-do-even-if-I-live-to-be-100 list! Yes, that's the sort of person I am. Lazy. Boring. And not the least bit thrill seeking!

So, no one was more surprised than I was when I went on some of the scariest rides in this amusement park called Alton Towers yesterday. I don't think they call them amusement parks anymore. 'Cause well, there isn't much that's amusing about them!! Appu ghar was an amusement park, yes. But Alton Towers? Nooo! Back to the point though...my decision to go on these life-threatening rides was shaped, not in any small amount, by recently having seen this movie called Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. That and a constant self-talk starting and ending with "darr ke aage jeet hai" is what saw me through it, to be very honest! And I would have been very proud of myself for some of the things I rode...if only I hadn't felt woozy n hungover for the whole day today!!! So in retrospect, it seems like such a waste!!

What surprised me is how there were hordes of people there who were loving every minute of those rides. What surprised me even more is that despite finding it extremely torturous, I went through with most of it! I still can't believe I did it...and I'm talking about weird roller coaster things that flip you upside down, hurtle you down a ninety degree drop and stuff like that! Basically what happened is that a person whose body is used to a leisurely - bordering on lethargic - existence was suddenly flung into this topsy-turvy frenzy...blood that has gotten used to complacently ambling around in slow cycles found itself rushing from head to toe to head and back again in a matter of seconds! I realized I have, as a friend of mine put it - "a slow heart". He meant weak, but slow fits the bill better! At the end of it, I was so shook up that on the bus back home, every time we went up or down a hill, I expected the bus to flip over n run in loops! No kidding!

life after death...and stuff like that

I'm in one of my gyaan-dispensing moods right now. So, indulge me for a bit, won't you? What happens when we die? Do you think we 'live on'? Or is it just game over! I wonder what it would be like to be dead. I'm in no hurry to find out of course ;) But just wondering...will I just stop existing? Will I get to see how people react when I'm gone? Or would it be better to not be able to see? Will I be allowed to hang around as a spirit? For how long? How will it be decided what or where I am in my next life? Do you think I'll have a choice? Do you think I'll get to meet God? I think it's only fair to expect that! What about the soul...does it have a memory? Will mine remember all the things I have been before? Or will I just be a blob with no past?

For me, an ideal dead situation would be...going into a world where I get to meet all the people I know who are now dead. Like a reunion of sorts. At least for a few years...or whatever unit time is measured in in that world...Then we can all move on. But what if they have already served their time in the in between world by the time I arrive?! That would be such a shame!!

Thing is, I won't really know till I'm dead. What I'm trying to get at is this...we waste so much time plotting and planning for the future that it's easy to lose sight of the present. I know you've heard it a million times in a million different ways...live like there's no tomorrow, make most of today, etc etc.

But you still spend hours and days worrying yourself over the future. I know I do. It looms like a dark cloud over everything. And I find myself making choices on the basis of what would be best for 2, 3, 5 years later. Sure no harm in planning for tomorrow, but is it more important than right now? The weirdest part is, the future may or may not happen. I might get hit by a car tomorrow (if I get out of the house!). Or get buried in this very building in the next 5 minutes (chances of this being higher coz of all the newly-free-for-hols undergrads running around all the time!). Who knows! But there's no denying the fact that I have this moment.

So, what's the point of all this ranting? Nothing :) Absolutely nothing. I wanted to spend my present writing a blog post. And I just did. What do you want to do with this moment? :)

what if...

What if you find what you have been looking for? What if the search that seemed to last a lifetime came to an end? What if it isn’t what you thought it would be like? What if, after all this effort, you feel even more lost than before?

There you are

my precious one!

The moment I set my eyes on you,

I knew.

I knew there’s no going back

Comforts, I gave up.

Shade and rest

have become strangers to me.

But the sight of you, my precious one,

and I know this is where I want to be.

I have spent night after night

dreaming of your sweet face.

Braved all odds

to reach you here.

Seeing you, having you

guided my life

ruled my being.

I know of nothing else

but this strife.

This unquenched thirst

to have you my precious one.

But why does it feel this way?

Why is your lovely face

lined with worry, with doubt?

You are just as I had imagined,

but not quite.

What is it that’s not right?

What is it that stops me?

Stops you...

What holds us back?

Why does my tiredness

seem to clench my bones?

Why does your face

look like it doesn’t know?

Did I give up too much?

Did I give it up in vain?

Can you not feel my pain?

I long for one look.

One look of acceptance.

Or at least a flicker of recognition in your eyes.

But it doesn’t come.

I feel my feet give way,

feel my body crumble,

and my soul sink.

I feel it all

when I see you turn and walk away.

And then...I feel nothing at all.