About Fashion...go watch it!!! It's actually a nice movie...a good watch....a typical Madhur-Bhandarkar-kinda thing. Oh n watch it for Mugdha Godse!! :)
Nice storyline n all...n since i know nothing of fashion or the 'fashion-world' ;) i have no parameters to do a reality-congruency-check. One thing that struck me though was that men in this industry are either gay or sick b******s or both. If the portrayl is to be believed, straight men are crooked. The only nice men are gay. And then too, you can't just assume that aman is nice coz he's gay. ahh....story of my life! hahaha
The music is great too. Like very apt types...dunno if that's ripped from somewhere! but watevr!
Oct 31, 2008
Oct 19, 2008
silence.
have you felt it
i don't think i have...ever before
this craving to speak
and not knowing whom to turn to
when even thoughts go mum
and you have not even yourself for company
lonely amidst a crowd
i don't know what to say
not beacuse i don't have the words
but because my voice fails me
instead, tears are all that i can manage
but even those get dried up after a while
i wonder who would understand
i wonder what to say
no voices within
no thoughts, no images
an unknown void
more perplexing than disturbing
why am i feeling this?
what is it that wouldn't let go?
have you felt it
i don't think i have...ever before
this craving to speak
and not knowing whom to turn to
when even thoughts go mum
and you have not even yourself for company
lonely amidst a crowd
i don't know what to say
not beacuse i don't have the words
but because my voice fails me
instead, tears are all that i can manage
but even those get dried up after a while
i wonder who would understand
i wonder what to say
no voices within
no thoughts, no images
an unknown void
more perplexing than disturbing
why am i feeling this?
what is it that wouldn't let go?
Oct 15, 2008
I am what i think I am...the way I see myself, the way I interpret how others see me, and the way I always have been. All this is nothing but a bunch of perceptions and memories . And in a way, I am nothing without them.
If, for instance, I forget all that's happened to me ever..all that I've done and said...I wouldn't know myself! And that's a scary thought. Maybe that's why I want people I love to know me...so that even when I don't know me, there's still someone who does! But what's the point of someone knowing me if i myself don't...?
disturbing as that thought is...it's scarier to think of a loved one forgetting me...How painful it must be, to be wiped outta someone's life! If v r defined by our needs, then i will be defined by my need for acceptance. Give me two people who like me for what i am and i'll ask for nothing more. but what if one of these ppl 'forgets' me?
If, for instance, I forget all that's happened to me ever..all that I've done and said...I wouldn't know myself! And that's a scary thought. Maybe that's why I want people I love to know me...so that even when I don't know me, there's still someone who does! But what's the point of someone knowing me if i myself don't...?
disturbing as that thought is...it's scarier to think of a loved one forgetting me...How painful it must be, to be wiped outta someone's life! If v r defined by our needs, then i will be defined by my need for acceptance. Give me two people who like me for what i am and i'll ask for nothing more. but what if one of these ppl 'forgets' me?
Sep 29, 2008
FAQs
FAQ #1 What are you doing these days?
FAQ #2 What next??
these days, i'm being asked these quetions almost as often as 'how r u?'...the first one, in itself, is quite harmless. and till last year, all it drew was impressed/admiring/approving raised eyebrows/nods/smiles...it would usually go like - "What are you doing these days?"...to which i'd say (and still do)..."Masters in xyz from blah univ"...
Ahh...nice....
But now, they're no longer satisfied with that... it's usually (read as most often) followed by the 2nd one...the one which gives me sweaty palms and bouts of anxiety...What next?
Pehle toh if asked this, i'd just say i'm planning to study further (whatever dat means!!)...but now ppl don't stop at that...they want to know What i'll be studying next? why i'll be studying it? what does it mean? what kinda work do i want to do? Oho!! don't ppl have other things to worry about? or is there some sadistic pleasure in quizzing ppl bout things that they are most uncertain about? Till some time ago, FAQ #1 got me more nervous (perhaps coz then the 2nd one wasn't in the picture)...coz for a while, i was doing nothing! ok, i was in between courses, half the world goes through it...but still!...moral of the story is, FAQ#2 will seem inconsequential in a while too...Till then, wish me happy figuring out! :)
FAQ #2 What next??
these days, i'm being asked these quetions almost as often as 'how r u?'...the first one, in itself, is quite harmless. and till last year, all it drew was impressed/admiring/approving raised eyebrows/nods/smiles...it would usually go like - "What are you doing these days?"...to which i'd say (and still do)..."Masters in xyz from blah univ"...
Ahh...nice....
But now, they're no longer satisfied with that... it's usually (read as most often) followed by the 2nd one...the one which gives me sweaty palms and bouts of anxiety...What next?
Pehle toh if asked this, i'd just say i'm planning to study further (whatever dat means!!)...but now ppl don't stop at that...they want to know What i'll be studying next? why i'll be studying it? what does it mean? what kinda work do i want to do? Oho!! don't ppl have other things to worry about? or is there some sadistic pleasure in quizzing ppl bout things that they are most uncertain about? Till some time ago, FAQ #1 got me more nervous (perhaps coz then the 2nd one wasn't in the picture)...coz for a while, i was doing nothing! ok, i was in between courses, half the world goes through it...but still!...moral of the story is, FAQ#2 will seem inconsequential in a while too...Till then, wish me happy figuring out! :)
Sep 23, 2008
My people 2
...then there is X...another friend from school. we have never been out of touch, I think... anyway, can't think of a time when we were! (and for once v'll assume that my memory is sound! ) my relationship with X..at least the initial days of it, were based on a very precarious foundation...after all, she was the-best-friend's-new-friend...someone I viewed with a fair amount of suspicion...and why not! for all I knew, she was a probable 'interloper' ! hehe...Thankfully she wasn't :) Currently, both of us reinforce each other's perceived coolness..lol...
X has been a tremendous support always...she has this almost unreal knack for being...I dunno, honest? real? something like that...as in, there's nothing fake about her. Ever. Which I think is a very commendable thing! Another thing about her is, it's almost like an unconscious life-goal for X to 'be there' for people. Don't know how she manages, but she does it. Does X come across as an angel after all this? well even if she does, she Isn't! Honestly! hehe...
A lot of my friends are results of 'bad starts'! The worst I guess was with C...I thought her to be this suuuuuuuperrr mean woman initially. someone who was too uptight for me...and look at us now! one of my closessssssttttttt frenz today..thank god 1st impressions aren't last impressions always!
X has been a tremendous support always...she has this almost unreal knack for being...I dunno, honest? real? something like that...as in, there's nothing fake about her. Ever. Which I think is a very commendable thing! Another thing about her is, it's almost like an unconscious life-goal for X to 'be there' for people. Don't know how she manages, but she does it. Does X come across as an angel after all this? well even if she does, she Isn't! Honestly! hehe...
A lot of my friends are results of 'bad starts'! The worst I guess was with C...I thought her to be this suuuuuuuperrr mean woman initially. someone who was too uptight for me...and look at us now! one of my closessssssttttttt frenz today..thank god 1st impressions aren't last impressions always!
Sep 16, 2008
Sep 14, 2008
my people - 1
My people
There are quite a few of those. And I want to write about them. Jlt…!
Lets start with A…my oldest friend. We were inseparable as kids, A n me. Best friends since nursery…and best-friends-forever I’d always thought. But sometime between 7th and 8th std, A n I lost touch, and each other. Didn’t even realize it till a few years ago when I was in Pune and wondered how easily I had let go of such a spl person…but God bless orkut a million times. ‘coz that’s where I found A again! It has absolutely proved its worth, this orkut thing! That’s one of the reasons why, despite the constant comparisons with fb, wayn, shelfari, hi5 n wat not, I still looooove orkut... We still havn’t met, (inspite making a zillion plans!) n now coz A has moved to Pune! What a shame! But its ok, coz A is back…and we can talk bout stuff, bout times that only the two of us shared. A knows the kid-me! And its such fun reminiscing! Hail orkut!
Since A exited, B has been a constant in my life. The best-friend-for-life then…and is the same even today. (thank god for that!...no credit to orkut!) We’ve shared our ‘growing up’ days…in school at least. We were the typical gal-pals back in school. Had to tell each other every single thing that happened to us everyday! That amounted to loooooong phone convos…okay, make that endless phone convos!! :) There was a time when I just couldn’t think of anything minus B. she’s a very vibrant person, our B. And she has this midas touch sorta thing, she just livens up everything! The most boring incident sounds like an adventure when B is a part of it.hehe...But then we kinda grew up…we still share big-time, but it isn’t the same anymore…sometimes I miss the way it was…but then…anyway! its more of a ‘mature-bond’ now. We know we will always be there for each other, no matter what. Maybe it’s the different cities and different sets of friends that did us in (whatever that means, it just sounds right!)…or maybe the fact that we are essentially two very very different people…or maybe just the time. Whatever it is! I still feel majorly guilty everytime I have to say ‘no’ to her for anything. I feel terrible for not being able to speak as freely…feel like a pseudo at times…just want her to know it’s not that I care any less. Dunno how to explain. Let it be…moving on to the next one then!
Or maybe this should be it for now…more later!
There are quite a few of those. And I want to write about them. Jlt…!
Lets start with A…my oldest friend. We were inseparable as kids, A n me. Best friends since nursery…and best-friends-forever I’d always thought. But sometime between 7th and 8th std, A n I lost touch, and each other. Didn’t even realize it till a few years ago when I was in Pune and wondered how easily I had let go of such a spl person…but God bless orkut a million times. ‘coz that’s where I found A again! It has absolutely proved its worth, this orkut thing! That’s one of the reasons why, despite the constant comparisons with fb, wayn, shelfari, hi5 n wat not, I still looooove orkut... We still havn’t met, (inspite making a zillion plans!) n now coz A has moved to Pune! What a shame! But its ok, coz A is back…and we can talk bout stuff, bout times that only the two of us shared. A knows the kid-me! And its such fun reminiscing! Hail orkut!
Since A exited, B has been a constant in my life. The best-friend-for-life then…and is the same even today. (thank god for that!...no credit to orkut!) We’ve shared our ‘growing up’ days…in school at least. We were the typical gal-pals back in school. Had to tell each other every single thing that happened to us everyday! That amounted to loooooong phone convos…okay, make that endless phone convos!! :) There was a time when I just couldn’t think of anything minus B. she’s a very vibrant person, our B. And she has this midas touch sorta thing, she just livens up everything! The most boring incident sounds like an adventure when B is a part of it.hehe...But then we kinda grew up…we still share big-time, but it isn’t the same anymore…sometimes I miss the way it was…but then…anyway! its more of a ‘mature-bond’ now. We know we will always be there for each other, no matter what. Maybe it’s the different cities and different sets of friends that did us in (whatever that means, it just sounds right!)…or maybe the fact that we are essentially two very very different people…or maybe just the time. Whatever it is! I still feel majorly guilty everytime I have to say ‘no’ to her for anything. I feel terrible for not being able to speak as freely…feel like a pseudo at times…just want her to know it’s not that I care any less. Dunno how to explain. Let it be…moving on to the next one then!
Or maybe this should be it for now…more later!
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