हर कोई उठा ले अगर
अपनी खुशी का ज़िम्मा
कई कांधों को मिलेगी
इस बोझ से राहत

Tears

If you'd pause to think, you would see
my tears hold the answers that you seek
do you really seek answers, i often wonder
for i don't hear you pause
i hear your questions
and the anguish behind them
and i wish i could put the tears into words
but i can't
they flow, when there are no words.
i have always been
at a loss for spoken word
smiles and tears i am easy with.
my tears are not a means
to seek vengeance or to hurt
to punish or to rub in.
they are an expression
of a girl who is at a loss for spoken words.

Life is short

Life is short. Live it now.
The distant tomorrow may never come.
The next day might not dawn either.
All you have is this moment.
Live it. Now.

Life is short. Live it now.
Don't wait for a better time.
There might not be any.
Don't hope for a second chance.
It might have gone already.
All your dreams, your hopes and your wishes,
live them now,
there may be no tomorrow.

If you love them, tell them now.
If you are angry,
forgive now.
If you have hurt them,
ask for forgiveness.
Do it now,
for that's all that you've got.

Life comes to an end.
That's something you know.
The time to be happy,
the time to make amends,
it is now.
For that's all that you've got.

You never know,
if tomorrow brings with it
the familiar faces, sights and sounds.
Sometimes all you are left with
are unanswered questions.
Why-me and what-if
are all you have got.

Life is short.
It comes to an end.
Live it today.
Live, now.

what if...

What if you find what you have been looking for? What if the search that seemed to last a lifetime came to an end? What if it isn’t what you thought it would be like? What if, after all this effort, you feel even more lost than before?

There you are

my precious one!

The moment I set my eyes on you,

I knew.

I knew there’s no going back

Comforts, I gave up.

Shade and rest

have become strangers to me.

But the sight of you, my precious one,

and I know this is where I want to be.

I have spent night after night

dreaming of your sweet face.

Braved all odds

to reach you here.

Seeing you, having you

guided my life

ruled my being.

I know of nothing else

but this strife.

This unquenched thirst

to have you my precious one.

But why does it feel this way?

Why is your lovely face

lined with worry, with doubt?

You are just as I had imagined,

but not quite.

What is it that’s not right?

What is it that stops me?

Stops you...

What holds us back?

Why does my tiredness

seem to clench my bones?

Why does your face

look like it doesn’t know?

Did I give up too much?

Did I give it up in vain?

Can you not feel my pain?

I long for one look.

One look of acceptance.

Or at least a flicker of recognition in your eyes.

But it doesn’t come.

I feel my feet give way,

feel my body crumble,

and my soul sink.

I feel it all

when I see you turn and walk away.

And then...I feel nothing at all.

you are not around

but your fragrance lingers on

i can't see you

but your presence is not gone

physical distances hurt

but they don't feel real

love is my reality

i feel it every time i breathe

you worry that i will

go away one day

don't you see

i am here to stay

i have become a part of you

as you became mine

and that can't be taken away

even if we try

You mess up my mind
You play with my thoughts
You sweep me off my feet
You take my breath away
But the exhiliration dies too soon
You leave me all alone
In the middle of the song
Clutching my heart in my fist
I wait for the next time
Not knowing if it will come at all
I curse myself for letting you do that to me
For letting you mess with my mind!

एक ओस की बून्द,

एक घास का तिनका,

हैं तो बहुत छोटे

पर क्या समझते हो मोल इनका ?

हवा के झोंकों में झूमते हुए पेड़

धूप का स्पर्श, बादलों की रेल .

छोटी छोटी चीज़ें

जो शायद अनदेखी हो जाएं,

रोज़ की भाग दौड़ में

चिडिया और कोयल किसे याद आए?

बड़े की आस को ग़लत नही मानती

लेकिन फिर भी

मैं इतना हूँ जानती,

एक एक बूँद से ही सागर है बनता,

नन्ही कलियों से गुलशन है खिलता .

तो छूना अगर है आसमान,

तो यह न भूलो

सदियों पर भी रहता है

हर छोटे पल का पहरा.

तो हर पल का मोल जानो

छोटी-छोटी बातों में छिपी

बड़ी खुशियों को पहचानो .

...to be a woman

I’ve wondered time and again
What is it to ‘be a woman’?

When I was four
I thought it meant playing mommy and cooking yummy food.

At six I thought it was to be able to
Wear make-up and heels and sarees.

As a eleven year old
Being a woman meant looking pretty
And being the centre of attraction.

At twelve, it was the ability
To bear cramps every month
And to get used to an almost new me.
It was also the constant fear of lechers and eve-teasers.

At thirteen I thought being a woman
Was to watch lovey-dovey movies
And fantasize about falling in love.

At sixteen, it meant
Craving for independence
And being reminded of limitations,
Discovering my wings
But realizing I couldn’t fly yet.

When I turned eighteen
Being a woman meant taking responsibility.
Standing up for myself,
Laughing and crying at the same time,
Holding on, yet being able to let go.

At twenty, I realized
Being a woman also meant
being vulnerable yet resilient.
And loving myself unconditionally.
It meant enjoying ghazals and rock
with the same fervor,
It meant appreciating life’s little blessings.
It meant falling in love.

Now I am twenty two
And all these things do count,
But I still wonder what it is to be a woman…
Maybe it is learning to know myself.
Maybe it is about neither completely knowing
nor giving up the quest to know.
Maybe it is the incessant mood swings.
Maybe it is the ability to feel joy and pain with comparable intensity.
Maybe it is being selfless and selfish.
Maybe it is simple, yet riddled with contradictions.
Whatever it is, I know that there is
So much more to know…and so much more to love myself for.

Late at night
when everything's asleep
my thoughts lie awake
uneasy, disorganised
So many questions
so many doubts
A million "what ifs"
many more "dunnos"
What will happen
do I really wanna know?
Am I just gonna watch?
will I do anything?
Should I? Can I?
Late at night
my mind's a maze
a blackout zone
but not quite...
I'm trying to find my way
through all the confusion
The uncertainities and the dilemnas
form a thick fog
I hope I'll get to see the moon
like I've known it to be
it's late at night
and the moon seems unfamiliar too...

I Can Sense Smoke...

I can sense smoke
Lurking at the back of my mind
Hazy memories, faint reflections
Reminding me of what has been.
I have no means to hold on or to let go.
I try to reach out and grasp…
But all I catch are vague sounds and sights.
I try to forget everything
But the sounds and sights wouldn’t go
Colours without beauty
Voices without life
Just beyond my reach
Always there, but not for me.
I don’t know if the memories are pleasant
Thy neither haunt nor mesmerize
They just exist
Strong enough to draw my attention
But not enough to hold it.
Like a butterfly on a bright spring morning
They flit in and out of my consciousness
Leaving me perplexed one moment
Annoyed the next
I can feel smoke
And its hazier than ever before.