Why the ban on crackers is a bad idea

I have been anti-firecrackers for nearly two decades. I believe there is more to Diwali than bursting crackers. I tell anyone who cares to listen that crackers are bad for our environment. I am not saying it’s not fun, however the implications – as was evident from the smog Delhi experienced last year – are far too serious.

So given my stand on crackers, I should be happy about the ban SC has declared. ‘It’s what you wanted all along, right?’

Well, no.

I feel that the ban on crackers is a bad idea. I don’t think that imposing such a ban is a step in the right direction. Instead, it is going to antagonise people. It is going to open up unnecessary debates about ‘why my festival’. It makes me extremely sad that educated, thoughtful individuals allow themselves to be polarised so easily. If you are anti-cracker, you are also anti-Hindu; if you want to burst crackers on Diwali, you are a ‘bhakt’. Even though some people would love to make it about religion, it is not.

Yes, this is a change that should not have been imposed on us. After all, each one should have the freedom to practice their religious festivals, right? It would have been ideal if we had recognized how badly our air quality gets affected every single year. It's true that fire crackers are not the only source of air pollution. We need to make other changes too. However, just pointing out that others need to change does not absolve us of our individual responsibilities.  

We are bursting at the seams with ever growing population.Crime seems to be out of control. Resources and infrastructure invariably fall short of the need. In such a scenario, it is common sense that we at least change what is within our control. We should have the foresight to curb behaviours that are clearly harming our environment. And each individual needs to make a conscious choice. Pointing fingers is not getting us anywhere. 

Pollution is real. It is a problem that needs to be tackled. There will be no tomorrow if we don’t take action today. This change, however, needs to be voluntary.

Freaking out when your period is late

A delayed 'period' (or "part of the menstrual cycle when a woman bleeds from her vagina for a few days"  -NHS) is never fun. Freaking out when your period is late is normal, right? The days (or, God forbid, weeks!) leading up to it, are nothing short of hell though! Here are the 10 phases of near-hell that I recently survived...

10.Before period was due
Could I be pregnant? That would be so cool! I hope it's twins :P

9.A couple of days late...
Shit! What if I am actually pregnant?? Does that really mean no alcohol? Do I even want kids?

8.Almost a week and no period...
Time for a pregnancy test. I don't feel pregnant, but what if I am? What if my fat is hiding a baby within? With my belly, it is quite possible! Maybe I just need to lose some weight. Maybe it's the change of place. But I need to be sure it's not a baby!

7.When the test says NOT pregnant!
Mixed feelings. I was kinda thinking of ways to announce my pregnancy while I waited for the stick to work the result. Well, thank God I am not pregnant! I wish I was though...wouldn't it be nice to have a baby or two? Am I too old to get pregnant?

6.Ten days late and still no sign of blood...
The typical PMS is starting to show. I can positively tell that I will be down by the end of the day today. At the most by tomorrow. These mood swings can't get any worse! Maybe I should try to find some papaya? 

5.Second pregnancy test.
It is day no.13 now. This is starting to get creepy. What if I am actually pregnant? There was something about false negatives I had read. Why did I have that glass of wine!? I wish my baby isn't born deformed!!!

4.Alarm bells ringing
What? another negative???! What if I have hit menopause? What if something's really really wrong with me on the inside? What if I am taking this too casually. Let me figure out how to get an appointment with a gynaecologist! 

3.Over two weeks later...
It's never been this late. I have even started going to the gym (well, OK, I just went once, but still!)! Must ask mom. I am officially freaking out now. Are these real cramps or just wishful thinking on my part? I feel fat and ugly and sleepy. And fat! And low. And did I say fat?

2.I'm NEVER gonna have my period.
Gotta see a doctor. Enough delay already! This might be a sign. Maybe my reproductive system ha gone on a long vacation. I hope this can be cured. What will I do with all those sanitary pads if I never have a period again?

1.Almost 3 weeks after due date...
Wtf! I am going to be reckless and wear my new silky panty. Can't let the fear of staining ruin my life! Out for a lovely dinner with the husband and, ta-da! Out with the blood! Woohoo! The choke up is finally clearing out! Thank you God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Jokes apart though, my armchair research tells me that delayed periods could result from various causes, which include but are not limited to - PCOD, weight gain/loss, acute change in weather, high stress and hormonal imbalance. I am due to see a gynae soon. If you or anyone you know is going through any menstruation related complications, don't ignore it. Reproductive health is important. Take care!

My unexpected brush with bird watching

I saw something really beautiful from my kitchen window just now. If I were dancer, I would dedicate a piece to this moment. If I were an artist, I would surely try to capture it on a canvas. I am neither, but I am moved; feeling blessed and awed.

Yesterday, around the same time, I saw a flock of birds fly past a beautiful orange streak in the sky. I was lucky to get a decent picture, which I was too excited to share on Instagram. As I gazed out today – without the pressure f capturing the moment on camera – I noticed that the birds didn’t just fly past. They seemed to be flying in a circle. It was a large cloud like shape made up of tiny black specks, that swirled close enough for me to be able to make out the wings fluttering in unison! The sky seemed to be vibrating in the space where they flew. It was such a pretty sight that I couldn’t take my eyes off.

What I had expected was that the birds would soon disappear. However, for what seemed like forever, the swarm kept moving around in perfectly choreographed circles. At one point I felt that they were moving away, and guessed that this was probably how they travelled – by flying in circles till they reached the destination. Seemed like a very tedious, energy consuming way to get home! So I made a mental note to look it up on Google.

The sight had such a soothing rhythm though, that I found myself just standing and staring, feeling oddly calm and mesmerized. After what seemed like very long, in one beautiful sweep, they descended like falling leaves – though not all. The flock seemed a little smaller now. Around the same time a few lone birds joined the group, and started following the pattern – flying around in a large-ish circle path. A few minutes later, the same fall repeated. A flawless downward brush-stroke – though again, not all. A very small group continued the beautiful aerial dance, until in one final sweep, the sky was clear again.

Berlin - my first impressions

It is, perhaps, is too soon to say much. However, I have been here for a month now, and it's as a good a time as any for first impressions!

The first word that the place brings up for me is 'urban'. Well, it is a no brainer since it is a capital city! It's somehow much more urban than any other European city I have visited. Probably because  my experience is limited to tourist destinations (Paris, Rome, London, Venice, Prague, Brussels). Anyway, so Berlin feels like an  urban city. With organised roads and buildings, and under construction sites everywhere. There are people everywhere, though it rarely feels crowded.

Getting around is a breeze, thanks to the very efficient public transportation (and Google maps). The train and underground stations have ticket vending machines which are fairly straightforward to use. (Quick tip: There is an option to change language to English - click on the icon with flags).

Even though people speak English, the preferred language is German. I do feel quite out of place not knowing the language. So, even though you can get around even if you don't speak Deutsch, it would make life much simpler if you did. Or so I would like to believe!

Grocery shopping is way more challenging than I had anticipated. Again, my expectations are biased by my experience of Tesco and Sainsbury and Morrisons! (Major disappointment: Every European city does not sell Angel cake!!! Not even a close equivalent?!) So far, it has been a lot of trial and error - specially when it comes to buying condiments and cosmetics and cleaning stuff. The google translate app - with the option to translate using the camera - is a handy tool, though not always accurate. It chooses to leave untranslated that one word you do not know the meaning for!

Everything is closed on Sundays. So if you forgot to buy milk or eggs - too bad :P I am guessing there are a very limited number of stores in the city that open for a few hours on Sundays - but they are hard to come by. So if in Berlin, make sure you stock up for Sundays in advance.

The most easily available food on the go is sandwiches and croissants. There's a variety of these available all over. Another thing that seems to be common is Turkish food joints - especially the one with doner kababs.

People - mostly women - seem to be walking dogs or children at all times of the day! Beautiful, well mannered dogs - such a delight to watch!

There's lots and lots of "Apotheke" or chemist stores here. They seem to outnumber the grocery stores in Berlin.

Non-white people are a rarity here. In my four weeks here, I have only 'overheard' Hindi once. I haven't seen many African or Asian people, though there seem to be Vietnamese and Chinese restaurants everywhere! It feels much less cosmopolitan than London or even Manchester.

When I visited as a tourist last year, the city seemed to be steeped in World War 2 history. Not so much this time around. So, if you are away from the central, touristy places, it is easy to forget all that the city has been through and come up from. The museum island is, so far, my favourite place here.

I love Delhi

I love Delhi like I would love a person. It is more than a city to me. It is more than just 'home'. It is something way more than any other place. And not just because this is the place where I have lived for the most years of my life. I know Delhi has flaws. Who doesn't? But the biggest flaw perhaps, is that she doesn't foster apnaapan very easily. You have to give her time, sometimes a lifetime, to love and be loved by Delhi.

For me, Delhi is long summer days and hogging on litchi, chilly windy mornings, school and friends, India Gate and Qutub Minar, SDA and Pusa Road, Janpath and Connaught Place, chole bhature and butter chicken, warmth and familiarity, home and family, laughter and food, love and excitement, growing up and always being kid...and a lot more.

I don't have the words to describe how I feel when I am in Delhi. I feel a sense of yearning. The thought I-need-to-come-back plays on a loop in my head. And it makes me happy. So soooooo happy! I feel elated every time I get a glimpse of one of the monuments. And Delhi has so many of them. I feel a sense of ownership and pride. I feel owned by it all. Here's what Delhi is to me:

Wide tree lined roads. Home. History. School. Minar. Food. Evergreen. Mutton sundays. Hanji. Auntyji. Circles. Qutub minar. Children's park. Pandara road. AIIMS. Dhaula Kuan. South Campus. STS. Moti Bagh. INA market. Channa market. Karol Bagh. Metro. Monday Market. Madonna. Honey cookies. Paneer. Indian Chinese. Butter Chicken. Jholas. Cottage Emporium. Dilli Haat. Fab India. Lodhi garden. Picnics. Holi. Exams. Dreams. Day-dreams. VTC. Republic Day. Rashtrapati bhavan. Roses and dahlias. Sightseeing. Chankyapuri. Flower market. Gaffar market. Random shopping. Khan market. Big Chill. Anokhi. Parking wale bhaiya. Dennis. R block. Samose. Gulab jamun. Gol gappe. Galouti kabab. Statesman. Bookstores. Stationery. Diaries. Cold coffee. Aloo chaat. Pragati Maidan. Appu Ghar. Book fair. Science museum. Doll museum. Bal bhavan. First love. First job. Independence. Responsibility. Driving. Alto. Select City Walk. Vasant Kunj. Khurja pottery. Momos. CP. Nizams kathi kabab. Plaza and Odeon. Oxford bookstore. Embassies. Tents blocking lanes. Baraats blocking roads. Shaadi ka khana. Loud DJ wala music. Christmas. Anjalika. Mohan Lal book store. Bihari uncle and Susheel uncle. Choti diwali. Festivals. Patakhe. Say-no-to-crackers. Movies on TV. Summer holidays. Banta. Oonch neech ka paapda. Fatafat. Lal-jeera. Chacha Chaudhary. Tinkle. Sita. Rajma. Questions about where I am "actually" from. Wanting to fit in more. Taking pride in being different. Swanchetan. Trauma counselling. Police stations. Aurobindo market. Airport. T3. Outer ring road. Ring Road. Nehru Place. Lotus temple. Ice cream soda. Pande pan. Red fort. Purana qilla. Bouganvilla. Chidiyaghar. Rail museum. August moon. Swimming lessons at Kanishka and Samrat. Radio. Road trips. DESU/power cuts. Dilli darshan. Holidays. Sleepovers. Laughter. Earrings. Comfort. Ghar-wali feeling.

As I am writing this, I realised that this will be the first time that I am going to be away from Delhi for an entire year. Out of nearly the decade that I have stayed outside of Delhi, I have always visited every few months. No such plan now. Perhaps that's why the nostalgia. Perhaps that's why the need to 'hold on tight' before letting go.

To anyone who can't see Delhi the way I do (with complete and unwavering adoration), I don't blame you. Maybe she didn't embrace you the way I have experienced. But I do hope, there is some place in this world, that makes you feel the way she makes me feel. Because I just cannot imagine not having a place to call my own! Which makes me wonder about the need to have a person/people to call my own. But that's for a later day!