I have never been the sort of person who got along well with kids. I've never had a problem with them either. But I've kept my distance. Even as a child and teenager, when my peers would go gaga over babies (human and animal), I could only muster up a bleak smile. Why this indifference (bordering on aversion) I am not sure. But one thing I was sure of, I'm not a kids' person.

So when I was offered a job as a counsellor for primary school children, no one was more surprised than I was that I took it up. Even as I took up the offer, I was pretty sure I wouldn't last more than a few months. 'Just till something better comes along' I told myself. My belief that I was a misfit grew as I saw my colleagues work with children. They were completely at ease. They didn't seem to squirm at the thought of 'handling' 30 kids at once. Hell they even seemed to enjoy it. I was quite blatant in admitting that I am not a big fan of working with kids. As a response to which I mostly received stares of disbelief.

I'm a counsellor. I am most at ease when I'm in a room with a client. I love therapeutic work. And this part of my job I was thoroughly enjoying. Of course it isn't a fairytale, so there has to be a flip-side. Which was that apart from my individual sessions, I had to conduct whole class sessions with each section of each grade. Major panic inducing stuff. For the initial weeks I just dreaded these sessions! The happiest moments of my week would be when a session got cancelled or when a class had a lot of absentees!! Over time, I got more comfortable. I started to grow fond of the same children who had seemed like a menace in the beginning.

Almost a year and half later, when I quit, I couldn't believe how difficult it was to leave! I didn't want to leave. When the time to handover to the new counsellor came, I felt super protective of "my" children. How could I just let someone else take care of them! How could anyone else understand? Of course, I'm not indispensable. The objective, professional me knew that all along. But my impulsive side wanted to gather all the kids in a group hug n shoo away the new counsellor! lol

When I took this job, I did not mean to stay for as long as I did. And when I left, I felt like I hadn't stayed long enough. Today, I'm much more comfortable around children. I miss the kids I saw at work. But that's the occupational hazard of being a counsellor anyway!

Wedding frenzy

I'm getting married in less than a fortnight. For almost the last three months, my family and I have been "preparing" for the wedding. Soon after the parents became involved in our relationship (i.e. maybe what one could call an unofficial Roka), I realised that fighting against a big fat wedding is a lost cause. So I decided to stop saying no to everything and enjoy the preparations. You may call that my excuse for splurging my parents' hard earned money ;)

The preparation - involving almost daily trips to various markets of Delhi - has become a so much a part of my routine, that I don't know what I'm going to do once it's over. In about two weeks, all the naach-gana band-baaja will be done. Then what?

I'd read somewhere that if we paid as much attention to planning marriages as we spend planning weddings, the world would be a better place (or something to that effect). Couldn't agree more! I'm not anxious about the wedding. But what bothers me...is that I can't picture our "marriage"...I mean, of course I'm thrilled that Aseem and I finally get to live together. But that also means moving out of 'home'. Moving away from everything that is familiar and known and comfortable and convenient. I feel like crying every time I think of all that's going to change. Forever. Does every bride feel this way? Does that make things any better for anyone?