Late at night
when everything's asleep
my thoughts lie awake
uneasy, disorganised
So many questions
so many doubts
A million "what ifs"
many more "dunnos"
What will happen
do I really wanna know?
Am I just gonna watch?
will I do anything?
Should I? Can I?
Late at night
my mind's a maze
a blackout zone
but not quite...
I'm trying to find my way
through all the confusion
The uncertainities and the dilemnas
form a thick fog
I hope I'll get to see the moon
like I've known it to be
it's late at night
and the moon seems unfamiliar too...

I Can Sense Smoke...

I can sense smoke
Lurking at the back of my mind
Hazy memories, faint reflections
Reminding me of what has been.
I have no means to hold on or to let go.
I try to reach out and grasp…
But all I catch are vague sounds and sights.
I try to forget everything
But the sounds and sights wouldn’t go
Colours without beauty
Voices without life
Just beyond my reach
Always there, but not for me.
I don’t know if the memories are pleasant
Thy neither haunt nor mesmerize
They just exist
Strong enough to draw my attention
But not enough to hold it.
Like a butterfly on a bright spring morning
They flit in and out of my consciousness
Leaving me perplexed one moment
Annoyed the next
I can feel smoke
And its hazier than ever before.